Invisible
by NoaShado
Summary: ONESHOT There are times when Renji felt like a caving. He knows his life can be snuffed out in the blink of an eye and the world wouldn't pause a second to grieve his loss.


_**A/N: **__I'm tired of reading the same thing over and over again. The same story plots, deathfics, Renji torture, blah blah blah. Why do people like making Renji so weak, anyway? I don't see him crying like a little girl and screaming because of a big bad hallow in the show, do you? Well, whatever. Here's my attempt at a more independent Renji. Heaven knows he needs some one to help him save face._

_**Disclaimer**__As obvious as I believe it to be, I don't own this anime, the characters, or anything else really. The insane, pointless rambling? Now, that I will claim._

**Invisible**

**By**

**NoaShado**

There are times, very rare times mind you, that Renji feels like caving. He's always at the front lines, fighting for someone else, winning the battle in someone else's name. Not that it surprises him, really. Lieutenants don't get the credit, captains do.

Captains get the promotions, the praise, the whole pride and glory kind of thing. Byakuya the Kuchki prodigy. Ichigo the hero come to change the worlds for the better. Everyone else who died for the same goal were just casualties, statistics printed up on paper to be filed and forgotten, but it's those two whose names will be weaved into songs, praised amongst their peers. Could you blame Renji for being a little bitter?

A long time ago, Renji believed he could be something. When he was running wild on the streets, with no one to order him around, no one to bring him down a notch, he truly believed he was made to be something bigger. A leader and hero to a bunch of street kids was destined to be a hero to others right? Even when Rukia took his place in the gang, he was naive enough to still have hope.

It wasn't all bad though. He kind of liked being the side kick, liked controlling everyone from the backstage where no one could criticize him because no one really knew. And when the shadows were the only thing to watch his inner battles, he learned to embrace their dreary comfort as intimately as he would a lover.

There are times when the manic laughs of the hallows he's faced pound his skull, when memories of dyeing comrades plague his dreams, when the blood tainting his hands get to be too much for his gentle nature to handle. In those times, he is ready to give up. If he were to die in those moments, in the arms of the night, he truly believed no one would notice. Or care if they did. No one cared about the statistics right? But then he would close his eyes, with Zabimaru clutched tightly in his hands, and he'd remember why he fights so hard to begin with.

Byakuya needs his right hand man. He needs someone to splash color in his life, to keep his work and the pressures that come with it from consuming him. Ichigo needs his friends, needs a strong shoulder to lean on when he's too weak to stand on his own and too stubborn to let it show. They may not need him, precisely, but they needed someone who could do for them what Renji was all but willing to do. So the red head would suck it up, put Zabimaru down and curl up for sleep to start all over the next day.

Renji knows he is disposable. He is not vital to any greater picture nor is he important to anyone who is. So he knows his life can be snuffed out in the blink of an eye and the world wouldn't pause a second to grieve his loss. He knows this, but that doesn't stop him from loving the world anyway. He does what is expected of him with his trademark grin and loud comments, flashy attitude and brash actions.

Many don't see his sheer strength, how he plays at the strings of the heroes everybody loves, manipulating them like a master puppeteer in a way that no one will ever understand. He is the background character, the one people look at but don't really see. Taken for granted for all that he does, always there to give his support even though he knows he will never gain anything in return. Renji is all but invisible. He is strong and beautiful and gentle and untamed, but he is a mere shadow when standing beside someone like his captain.

As a child, he once dreamed of changing the way things worked. He once pictured himself wearing the white cloak and leading everyone from the front stage, but he knows better now. People like him aren't made to be something bigger, they are made to be a tiny spark in the inferno, one star in the vast sky. It wasn't his fault that he was placed directly between the sun and the moon, forever to be out shined but there nonetheless. At least he could enjoy the sight and warmth better than anyone else could ever claim to.

There are times that Renji feels like caving. Times where bitterness takes over and he again wishes he could be something better. Rare times in which he becomes tired of the statistics, the unshared glory, and all the things in between. Then Renji shakes his head, ridding himself of the pointless thoughts. People like him aren't made for the spotlight, but that didn't make him any less important. Maybe not to the world but to the people he helps along, and to himself, he is already the best.

_**A/N**__ Yeah...that didn't turn out like I thought it would. When does it ever? Got my point across, anyway. Tell me what you think, please._


End file.
